Sex can be confusing. This holds true regardless of your gender, and regardless of your sexuality. That said, women tend to feel more shame about their bodies. Because of our "machinery," women are also more frequently uncertain about how their parts work and how to have orgasms during lovemaking. But both women and men can enjoy blissful erotic encounters just by empowering themselves with self-knowledge.
Sexuality aside, each partner should focus on good sexual communication, and what feels good to them. Here are some of my tried and tested suggestions to increase women's pleasure during sex, and to send temperatures soaring in the bedroom Tantra and Taoism tell us that men are like fire and women are like water.
What this means is that men heat up quickly but also extinguish quickly, whereas women are a slow boil, but once hot, can simmer for hours. There are, of course, variations to this, but taking a slower, more holistic approach allows for greater sensation. Create an environment where she knows she has time to focus and relax. Remove all distractions and responsibilities, including work, children, TV and any daily errands.
Check in advance to see how you can support her to make sure these things are done so she can focus How can i help myself become better sexually an hour or two or a whole weekend just on herself. By supporting her in knowing she has time to just switch off, you are holding space for her to begin enjoying sex. Being rushed, distracted or disturbed can be off-putting for her.
Having all these bases covered shows her you're sensitive to her and helps you create space she can retreat deeply into. For a lot of women, orgasm alone is empty when there's no deeper connection or intention embedded within it. Sure, orgasms How can i help myself become better sexually good.
But many women can be left feeling "meh" after an orgasm — especially if she feels expected to perform immediately thereafter for you. Instead, try touching her whole body with long firm strokes to get her blood moving. A stiff and nonresponsive lover is hard to get any kind of ignition happening with. By using long firm strokes over her whole body and inviting her to breathe and relax, you are letting her know she has all the time in the world to enjoy your offerings. Explore different erogenous zones on her body including, neck, shoulders, scalp, ears, belly, inner thighs, inner arms, back, buttocks and feet.
Try experimenting with speed or pressure. Light feathery touch can feel nice sometimes but annoying at others. Invite her feedback to help navigate her body.
Then follow her cues. Always keep communication in mind when it comes to intimacy — but especially for genital touch. Start slowly then build up. Use a quality silicone lubricant or saliva if a regular partner as dry fingers on genitals don't feel great. Ask her how she likes to be touched or even ask her to show you.