Lana regularly offers support to women who deal with narcissistic abuse and other difficult family or relationship issues via her blogs. Mothers-in-law are notorious for being controlling, judgmental, critical, and overbearing. And like any toxic person, a toxic mother-in-law is a soul-sucking parasite that feeds on your misery. To protect yourself and your loved ones, you first need to know your enemy, so here are 14 signs you might be dealing with a toxic mother-in-law.
On a personal note, I don't expect to be friends with my MIL any time soon, or ever. I think we're too different for that, and at the same time, too similar in that we're both strong women who don't back down.
I understand her frustrations with me, but I also understand that those frustrations have nothing to do with me. It's just self-aggrandizing rejection of "the lesser. Lastly, I find great comfort in the fact that my own mother is a kind, caring, generous woman who's a wonderful mother-in-law to my husband. So that makes my monster-in-law somewhat bearable, and at times even amusing.
In situations like this a husband is often caught between a rock and a hard place. I've put up with a toxic MIL for 35 years. The entire family knows her game. She has become so emotionally abusive "I can t live with my mother in law anymore" her son my husbandthat he is experiencing major health problems because of it. She is the complete picture of a Narcissistic personality. This woman won't go away. What do I do? I had a discussion with my mother-in-law last year about boundaries, and I feel like they were ignored.
What should I do?
Your MIL will test your boundaries many times. You just have to remain firm and remind her of your conversation every time she steps over the line. After 28 years, could I tell my in-laws that they are not welcome in my home if they constantly disregard and disrespect me? Is it possible for the self-aggrandizing person to be clueless?
Can someone be that disconnected? I've been wondering about that myself. How can someone be so oblivious? But I do believe that it's extraordinarily difficult for a self-centered person to empathize with other people. It's just not in their nature. They only see and feel themselves and all the real and imagined ways other people hurt THEM.
So the short answer is: But it doesn't mean they're not responsible for their actions. What about the other way around? My mother never liked my choice of husband nor did she think he was good enough for me; constantly pointing out his past and present faults. He hates going over to her to fix things, as he feels he can never do things right by her. That's a valid point.
I'm sure many men deal with this issue, and it can be very frustrating for them as well. How bad is it? Is she expressing her disapproval to you or him? I'm a big believer in setting the boundaries from the get-go, and communicating to difficult mothers that any disrespectful behavior will not be tolerated. But I also believe that, in most cases, that communication should be coming from her child, not the spouse.
Otherwise, it will breed more conflict. It's on you to set your mother straight. Even though she doesn't agree with your choice of husband, it's your choice. She either has to accept it, or accept the fact that it will negatively affect your mother-daughter relationship. So which one would she choose? How do I handle my mother-in-law when she lives with us permanently?
My mother in law refused to talk to us when we tried to set our boundaries regarding our children and my husband sided with me. But I feel that it's worrying my husband very much.
Should I talk to her again and find a compromise? Do you have any tips on how to deal with starting a family with a toxic mother-in-law? Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. Once you find humor in the situation that bothers you, you find freedom: I have given up and checked out of the relationship.
I feel better and find the whole thing amusing now. I do agree with you, you need some serious help. There isn't a quick fix for any of this, other I can t live with my mother in law anymore a divorce. People in these situations have therapy for years before they can even get to the point of confronting the malignant narcissist in their life.
And that's assuming that your husband is interested in getting this kind of help. At the moment he's just not strong enough to stand up to his mother. It has to come from him. He needs to realize that he needs help. You can be there for him but don't try to "fix it" for him. Ultimately, it's his cross to bear. Try not to get emotionally invested too much, just keep the distance as much as you can. He will get in a big fight with her block her number and then the next day he will go running back to her and making her feel like she can keep controlling him.
His parents are alcoholics day drink about a 30 pack of beers a night and his mom takes about 10 shots of fireball at night. My bestfren's mil is saruupnakha and the rest of the family is way too awara.
Her brother in law, is that early man who never grew after that stage, as he was the b. Her father in law is such a characterless man that he still leches and having affairs withI don't know what sort of 70's club women. I'm just so pissed with their tantrums and the way they show the fake love to their son's is way too frustrating. If there are any kidnappers, who are reading this then brother's pls help your Indian sister and apart from her husband just take everyone and dump them in some haunted cave.
My ML is the fakest person I know she manipulates and lies and about me and the children she has gone as far as to enlist the help of my husband's brother to continue her campaign of hate and to destroy my marriage.
My husband is clueless to her doings or his because he is such a gentleman he does not see the bad in the world. Actually the matter is about my mother in law and rest of family member I married I had one daughter my married had 5 years in between this 5 years she never I can t live with my mother in law anymore me as his daughter in law I do many kind of trials to do my best but everything get worst me now from last year me and my husband we differ from them because we thing this is better from us but my want is this possible that my mother in law start a new relation ship with me.
This type of behavior is certainly unpleasant. Although it also depends on where your MIL is coming from. Perhaps in her culture as a younger one you are supposed to address her first, as a sign of respect. The truth cannot be hidden forever, no one is perfect, even parents have had issues with their parents when they began their journey! Treat people how you want to be treated, no matter the race, color, religion, politics or anything else that devides the human race!
Two souls meant to be intertwined can never stay apart, this is Universal law! If the mind is strong enough nothing will alter this quantum state of vibration! Those who say the I can t live with my mother in law anymore and Moon cannot exist in the same sky are the ones who will never survive an Eclipse!
If it ordained the sun will reach in to an abyss until they pull their moon back into its light!