She needed to try harder because… well, because why? Because the only goal in life is to get married? Because the only way a person can be happy is to be in a relationship? When I was thinking about giving up online dating for the entirety ofI made a poll on InstaStories about it. If we make out in his car, does that give him license to shove his hand down my pants?
I need a break. And you know what? I may end up finding love this year, and I would be undeniably happy for that to happen because I would like to have romantic love in my life. I will also be percent okay if this year passes with no dates and no romance. I just want to live my life without the pressure of online dating.
My life is not made better by dating; it is made better by investing in my family and friends, by reading great books, by spin classes and "When to give up on internet dating," by long walks with podcasts, by traveling, by snuggling with my dog, by writing and Netflix and football.
The truth is, I am really happy being single. I love having as much alone time as I want. I love making my own schedule and not having to worry about anyone else. The green monster of jealousy rears its ugly head when I see engagement announcements and cute couple photos, which tells me that I do want romance for myself one day. A life where I get to read and nap as much as I want.
Sounds like you are listening to your intuition while still keeping yourself open! It was just plain exhausting and so time-consuming. And it was disappointing.
I felt like some of my married friends sort of romanticized what it was like to be single and dating. They thought it sounded exciting and loved to hear about it but I did not find it exciting and I kind of hated talking about it. It was great to not have the pressure of dating. Around that time, though, I got set up with Phil and I had 2 other people off to set me up. It was so weird. It was like the universe was telling me this was the time to get back into dating.
I went on a blind date with Phil the first week of October and when I got home, I deactivated my OKCupid profile because I knew this guy was special and that we really clicked.
And that was the end of online dating for me. Of course my story with Phil is not all sunshine and roses as I got relocated in and he lost his dad that year so we both had tough years where we needed to focus on ourselves. But we always stayed in touch and then we rekindled our romance when I moved back.
But it all worked out for the best and he was totally the wait! So good for you for recognizing that you needed to take this year off and just focus on having fun and enjoying your single status! The fact that you have so much peace about this decision shows that you made the right one, regardless of what that poll said!
I voted that you take the year off from dating! Your love story with Phil gives me such hope When to give up on internet dating my own one day! I loved being single. I loved my life on my own and was so damn happy. Cheers to listening to yourself. Soak up this time. I always looked at it like I was either REALLY enjoying a season prior to being in a relationship OR building a life I love and enjoy and either way was fine with me and made me really happy.
Love this confidence and inner peace with yourself!
I wish I could nap and read whenever I wanted… that is awesome! My story matters always. I felt like I should comment as one of the people who messaged you to keep your heart open to online dating if it ever feels like something you wanted to try again.
And even today as someone in a long distance relationship, I maintain so much of my single independence which has been super important to me because I love my life and myself on my own, most importantly. I loved getting to know myself without the pressure or trying to be someone in a relationship.
He hated online dating and was just trying it out to try and get himself back out there. I was in the same situation.
Anyway this was a super long comment- sorry! It honestly surprised me that not everyone thought that giving up online dating was a good idea. I love this post! It will always be there and you can always go back to it at a later time.
For now you should focus on you! I love this so much! I think the relief you felt after making your decision is a great sign that this is a great idea for you this year. Oh, I can only imagine all the questions married people get about kids.
I know friends who are engaged who are already getting the baby questions! Hi, I just stumbled on this website right now and am going through the same feelings. But Indo feel like Inhave to step away from it a bit and not have it in my head that zi need to find someone immediately. I was wonderingbzstephany-how is it going for you?