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If separated is dating cheating

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Several weeks ago, I got an email from a reader asking if I thought that dating before your divorce was final was considered cheating. This, honestly, is a complicated question. Sure, the marriage is over, the two of you have officially split, the divorce petition is filed… So, is it ok to jump into dating?

And, if you do, while likely hurtful to your soon-to-be ex, is it considered cheating? And the reasons are many. I speak with experience. I never loved him. He was a volatile, mean and abusive alcoholic. He was evil and frightening at times. When I finally left him in the wake of my cancer diagnosis, I was so over it and him.

Yet… when we left, there were two very confused and hurt children. I was sick extremely sick, like life-threatening sick. We were confused and scared… There were so many unresolved issues between my ex and me, like filing for divorce, all of my belongings were If separated is dating cheating in our shared home, we had many assets to divide, even dogs that needed to be split.

Within several weeks, he had a new girlfriend, the one he is with some four years later. It was devastating to me to think that while we were in such turmoil, he was having new sex with a woman he just met and enjoying the start of a new relationship.

And, truly, what was this very emotionally sick man doing dating instead of healing, dealing with his severe alcoholism, and concentrating on confused and bewildered children. As he dated so quickly, what was he teaching his two older children about family and marriage? If separated is dating cheating is mean absolutely nothing at all. And for the new woman in his life, I had to wonder what kind of idiot dated a man under these circumstances.

As a survivor herself of a divorce, she knew how horrible the entire process could If separated is dating cheating. While my ex and I had split, for her, dating a guy under such horrible circumstances meant she was dating a major asshole with huge unresolved emotional issues. Why would any woman do something so stupid on purpose? I had to think she was as emotionally sick as he was. And for me… it made me dig my "If separated is dating cheating" into the proverbial sand when it came to our divorce even that much harder.

If he wanted to enjoy having fun while I was so sick and the kids were so hurt, I was even less willing to have conversations with him that would make the divorce easier on him. I knew what I was owed a lot, considering I loaned him a ton of money to pay off his former wife and I was hell-bent on making sure I got exactly what I was entitled to. So, based on my experience and the experiences of others I knowhere is why, if you ask me, you should refrain yourself from dating until after your divorce is final even if your husband is jumping back in already:.

Doing so complicates an already extremely complicated, highly emotional and volatile situation. If you have children involved, this should be a time that you and your ex should be focusing on them, making sure that they assimilate as best as possible into their new reality— a reality that includes conflicting parenting approaches, two new homes, split holidays, and unspeakable pain and confusion.