How soon can you have sex after giving birth, and how can you make it fun? I was as nervous about having sex after giving birth as I was about having sex the first time ever.
Many of the thoughts running through my head in the moments leading up to the blessed event were also the same: We are definitely keeping the lights off. OMG, what if I get pregnant?!
Perhaps more so—since my first time ever didn't come with a side of gigantic, painful, milk-filled boobs. My anxiety was not unique, of course.
While my friend Lisa was being discharged from the hospital, the doctor dropped by to check on her and deliver the "nothing in the vagina for six weeks" spiel. This time frame exists to make sure that you've had a chance to heal, and that the lochia discharge of leftover blood and uterine tissue has stopped.
The very thought of postpartum sex can seem exhausting for new mamas, especially given everything that's stacked against them: You might feel "touched out" after cuddling a baby much of the day. But while getting it on may now be the last thing on your mind, that won't be the case forever.
In fact, according to one study, a full 94 percent of respondents claimed to be satisfied with their post-baby sex livesand more than half said having a baby improved things. In actuality, sex after childbirth takes some time—and effort. These truths can help you bring back the heat and connection that got you that baby in the first place.
Estrogen levels drop right after giving birth and remain low while breastfeeding. If you had an episiotomy or other lacerationthe time it takes to heal will depend on how extensive it was and where the cutting was done. No matter the delivery method, the top three suggestions from the moms I spoke with: Lack of sleepa changing dynamic between you and your partner, and perhaps some body image issues as you realize that How soon after hookup should you marry ain't gonna flatten itself: If you're breastfeeding, even Mother Nature is working against you.
Patients are always relieved to find out there's a reason they're not as into sex.
I didn't breastfeed my younger two, and the return to a sex life was much more seamless and painless than it was with my first, whom I nursed. Some of that was because it wasn't my first rodeo, but I know it also had to do with hormones—and my body being "mine" again much sooner. When I posed the "what changes about sex after baby?
Yes, depending on your age and how many children you've had, there may be a little more, wiggle room. Booth, "even a woman who had a C-section can be affected, because the hormones of pregnancy widen the pelvic rim.
If the thought of doing Kegels literally makes you cringe I'm cringing nowtry Pilates: Not surprisingly, they weren't getting along too well. We all gasped and told her to go home and throw the poor guy a bone. Did I mention we don't actually read books anymore in my book club? The fact is, you won't have as much time to linger over dinner or go out for elaborate dates, so sex can be the thing to remind you that you're on the same team—and still more than just Mom and Dad.
Also, let's be honest, it puts everyone in a better mood. And by that I mean they change more diapers and do more dishes! Knowing that it doesn't have to be a long drawn-out How soon after hookup should you marry is a lovely grown-up fact. Foreplay in my house is usually one of us saying, "Want to have sex? In other words, don't let your mind drift to what time the baby ate last, or whether you wrote a thank you note to your Aunt Kathy for the sleep sack she sent.
And think outside the bed, says Marie, a mother of three. My mom came to visit last week, and when she took the boys out for a walk, my husband and I promptly got busy, just like the good old days! I know a lot of women who say they enjoy sex more now than they did before they were parents.
That may seem hard to believe, given, well, everything you've just read, but as a mother myself, I know it to be true.
Childbirth can also shift our internal parts into just the right place, to make them more sensitive to stimulation. Just like you will sleep again and you will go out with friends again and even be up for giving birth again, you will want to have sex again.
Similar to how going from zero to one child is the biggest adjustment, returning to sex after baby number one is also the toughest. At a certain point you realize life with kids is always going to be chaotic, and you just have to do certain things, like fooling around, wherever and whenever you can. If your sex drive is feeling out of whack after giving birth to Baby, don't worry -- it's normal! We'll tell you how to get your groove back ASAP.