These three little words are romantic grenades — they have the power to change the course of your relationship, for better or worse. With great power comes great responsibility. I think it was Voltaire who said that — or Spider-Man, one or the other, anyhow — and deciding when to say I love you is as important as how, where or why. Too late, however, and you may find the moment has passed.
Helpfully, the government has done some research. A recent YouGov poll of 3, Brits found that the most popular time to say I love you was within the first three months of a relationship.
The takeaway is that there is no perfect time to say I love you and every relationship is different. The first, je sais, is used to refer to a fact, something concrete. What they are telling us is that there is disparity between knowing something for certain and believing it to be true. This is never more applicable then when it comes to love.
There are many factors that inhibit us from saying I love you: Saying I love you is a big deal. For instance, love is a warm, fuzzy buzz; a constant sense of contentment; a feeling of security.
I concede that the wording might need work. These experiences will either put us off a partner or endear them to us further.
Think of saying I love you as the final cherry atop a delicious yet carefully constructed cake that has taken, on average, three months to make. Technically, this is cheating, but we do say I love you with the expectation that the recipient will say it back. If you never experienced a deathly, tumbleweed silence after pouring your heart out, then I suggest you say I love you to the barista at your local Starbucks, just so you know what it feels like. We were in his room at university, he said something, I laughed and, as my guffaws subsided, it just slipped out.
Fortunately, he did say it back. If you genuinely feel nauseous from trying to hold the words in, then hell, let them out. Heightened emotional situations can make us do things we would never usually consider, such as getting your top lip pierced after the beloved cat from your childhood dies… which obviously I have never done. After a shock, trauma or intensely emotional experience, our instinct is to communicate our overwhelming feelings, reaffirm our relationships and cement our bonds.