Women have always been able to masturbate extremely effectively without actually entering the vagina. Masturbation is the most natural thing in the world — for both men women. Not only is it a healthy expression of ones sexuality it is essential for maintaining mental equilibrium.
The human mind has an enormous occupation with sexual desire. We all think about it, and we think about it often. Arousal is instinctive and It can happen in the weirdest circumstances — there is absolutely no telling what will turn you on — and in spite of what the moral police would like us to believe, it happens far more often than we would like to believe.
It happens at all sorts of odd times and places which means and it is not always possible to bring it to satisfaction. And you cannot just brush it off because arousal functions in a strange way. You know what our ancient texts say about the power and potency of sexual energy and about learning to harness it?
This is a prime example of how incredibly powerful it can be. Once aroused it can take hours, sometimes even a couple of days for it to disperse. It is like a super large injection of adrenaline running riot in your system.
And for the ordinary person, who has not understood how to harness and control that feeling, it can make you restless and unsettled and drive you completely distracted. Which is why most people need to masturbate, just Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction ease the tension and restore the brain to balance. We have technical information on it, like in the Kama Sutra, where it becomes part of the list of things to be included in a scientific treatise on sex — it exists and therefore must be mentioned.
But not as an emotional narrative of desires or unfulfilled fantasy. There are no such stories about women. If male masturbation is about fantasy then clearly it is something that is not encouraged in women. The average woman is only to be turned on by her husband and that too in a dutiful way Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction as the perfect, devoted, I-will-go-to-the-ends-of-the-earth-to-serve-you wife.
Even the stray thought of desire for another man is seen as infidelity and becomes a sin punishable by death. The sexuality of a woman is far more complex and powerful than that of a man it and cannot be explained by such a simple narrative.
Think about it — there is no pill in the world that can bring a woman to arousal, let alone to satisfaction. And its not even as simple as that. "Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction" arousal varies each time — what has aroused a woman this time will not necessarily arouse her another time — it is subject to so many emotional, physical, intellectual, even seasonal criteria. So for instance when the Manu Smriti suggests that girls from the youngest age possible age 4 should be made to do hard physical work around the house so they have no time to sit around and be led astray by fantasies and thoughts of sexual desires one marvels Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction the simplicity of the male mind.
A more enlightened society may have suggested an extra stringent education for girls, with complex formulae and theorems requiring complicated reasoning to keep the brain occupied — possibly that would have left no room in the brain for sexual desires! To answer your question — there are all sorts of ways of masturbating without physically entering yourself, some quite some more traditional, tried and tested.
Most women press their legs together and contract their pelvic floor muscles in order to come. The vulva has several G-spots and by really compressing and tightening the area as hard as you can you stimulate these spots from the outside. Some women are able to masturbate by massaging their breasts. The breasts are connected directly to the erotic nerve centres of the brain and a very sensitive spot.
Some women find massaging the feet with a roller a very effective way. The feet are full of nerve endings and can be very sensitive.
Keep your feet well pedicured and looking beautiful — it adds to pleasure. However I think the most important thing that I can tell you is to try as much variety as you possibly can. It became such an issue that it broke the marriage finally. Explore different ways of masturbating as much as possible and do not go too kinky very often. Pleasure is habit forming.
And if you get too used to building up your arousal in only one specific way you will not be able to enjoy regular sex with your partner and this will lead to a terribly unsatisfactory relationship.
Attachments will not be looked at. Each week, Seema will choose one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets she will not be able to enter into any personal correspondence.
Hey wait, hold on. This is not a small decision. This is not a one day thing. It will be a life changer so you really need to take your time to think about it and weigh up all the consequences and implications. And I think the first thing to do is get rid of your guilt feelings. Your desires come from the Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction part within your soul. In spite of what people say we are
Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction in control of what gives us pleasure — perhaps there is a level of great enlightenment when one can control ones mind, maybe the great sages could do it although not according to the stories we read but it is not for the ordinary person.
We are all born with our sexual orientations! I know you feel hopelessly alone at the moment, like you are the only person in this situation, that no one will understand, that there is no way forward. But trust me — you are not the only person who feels like they are trapped in the wrong body.
Sexual desires go back to the beginning of time and sexual preferences are as diverse and incomprehensible as human beings themselves. You would be amazed at the number of people who feel like you do, not just in modern times, not just in the last century or the last millennium but even our mythology is full of tales of people who Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction felt like you.
Prince Ila, through a strange curse, ends up being turned into a woman. Desperate and distressed he spends the next 14 years knocking on the door of every single god trying to get them to change him back into a man but when his wish is finally granted, when he does finally become a man again he realises that actually he would rather live as a woman.
Because — he says — his sexual experiences were better as a woman. However the gods refuse. They say he cannot just go off and live as a woman for the rest of his life, he has been born a man and he has duties, as a man, that he is committed to. According to Hindu mythology we are born into this life to pay off the debts of our last life and so Yamaraja the god of death who maintains the register of life decides what kind of life we should be born into, to best enable us to redeem these debts.
This story is told in the worship of the goddess Bahuchara and was written to acknowledge the sexual preferences of men who preferred "Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction" live as women with other men. Transgender sexual preferences have been around since the beginning of time, so much so, we even acknowledge them in our ancient philosophies. But that state Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction affairs always leads to misery — in all honesty we have one life, is it really worth wasting it?
The mind and its desires are vaster than any imaginable boundary and they are so deeply ingrained that it is next to impossible to get to their roots.
However one needs to try. It is worth carefully scrutinising your feelings to see if they are by any chance stemming from some form of social conditioning. Do you feel you physically want to be a woman as opposed to being a man with a man because that is more in keeping with societal expectations?
You are aware that you prefer to be with a man — that you cannot control — but is the desire to be a woman coming from what you actually want or from what you think is acceptable.
Changing your sex is a huge step Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction it is all but irreversible. And before you embark upon this course of action there are many things you need to consider extremely carefully because as I have said it will have very far reaching implications — the most important of which is your future relationships. If your sexual preference is homosexual Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction as a woman you will not be able to be with another gay man.
Are you ready for that?
And on the other hand a straight man may find it difficult to relate to you having been previously male. There are Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction hundred things to think of. It is really not as straight forward as just going for an operation.
The Ancient idea of coming into this life with a pre ordained set of commitments and duties may sound far fetched but it was meant to prevent people from stepping into situations that they cannot undo and may end up regretting for the rest of their lives.
I would advise that you try dressing as a woman for a while and enter the dating world. See who turns you on — do you still find your self attracted to Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction men or are you happier with straight guys? Vatsyayan begins the kama sutra by saying that genital sizes matter, but not as we think of them. There is no such thing as big or small — there are just compatible sizes. The ideal match should be between men and women whose genital sizes match perfectly because that is when sex is guaranteed to be pleasurable.
He explains that if the man is too big and the woman is too small then sex will "Yamaraja wife sexual dysfunction" painful, if the man is too small and the woman is too big it will be ineffective — in either case there is no pleasure and certainly no chance of satisfaction. For instance he says that a man whose penis is 3 inches in length during erection is generally short, slim and well proportioned with good teeth, silky hair, big eyes and a moderate appetite for both food and sex.
He is not demanding and is easily satisfied in bed. He is prone to violence and cruelty and has a voracious sexual appetite and is not generally a considerate lover. The man with a 6 inch erection is tall, lazy, gluttonous and slow with a preference for large women and finds it hard to achieve erection with slim or small built women.