Bob and Mary have been married nine years and have two small children, ages eight and six. While not wishing to complain, Bob thinks their marriage is in trouble.
He wants to make their lack-luster marriage more satisfying. Marriage is a call to on-going intimacy — not only sexual intimacy, but also the intentional develop of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy.
Studies report that couples who are passionate Sexual differences in marriage each other can more easily solve problems, including such things as dealing with children, extended family, and financial issues.
In time, couples like Bob and Mary may settle for security and certainty at the cost of playfulness and passion in marriage. Sustaining physical attraction, however, often takes a conscious decision to put time and effort into a dimension of the relationship that used to come effortlessly.
For Bob and Mary this may mean finding babysitters, having occasional Sexual differences in marriage alone without childrengoing on dates, and bringing to their relationship new ways of connecting. For Mary and Bob, focusing on intimacy may require making the effort to break out of a routine and investing energy into cultivating creativity in their lovemaking. Part of what makes a relationship romantic is the excitement that comes with discovering a new person and noticing that person cares about you.
Basically, it means re-tooling those very things that were a part of your earlier relationship but without the threat of rejection or loss. Just as magnets are drawn to each other from different poles, so too men and women are drawn to each other, not only because of similarities, but also for the differences.
For example, men more often show passion by pursuing and initiating lovemaking, focusing on purpose, protection and commitment; while women playfully tend to provoke and entice, focusing on vulnerability and feelings.
Exaggerating these two polarities can stimulate passion.
In our culture these gender energies often are judged to be too narrow. Men face the possibility of coming across as insensitive. Equality and mutuality can get confused with sameness.
But sameness is not very exciting. Within marriage, couples need to cultivate a healthy balance of both certainty and excitement. But therein lies the basic problem: Love seeks closeness while desire needs distance.
Too much distance, however, might cause a lack of connection, while too much sameness destroys the attraction of two unique individuals. This is the essential paradox of intimacy and sex. Love enjoys knowing everything about the other, while desire needs mystery.
If love grows by repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. It thrives on mystery, the novel, and the unexpected. Love is about having; desire is about wanting. Desire benefits from ongoing elusiveness. But too often, "Sexual differences in marriage" couples settle into the comforts of love, they cease to fan the flame of desire.
In Catholic marriage the bride and groom are the ministers of the sacrament while the priest is the official witness of the church. It is in making each other number one that intimacy can blossom into an ever-deepening love. The call to be lover and beloved is a deeply spiritual call. Marital partners are challenged to cultivate marital eroticism. View more Marriage Rx prescriptions here.
Every marriage has challenges. The good news is there are many dedicated staff willing to work with Sexual differences in marriage and your spouse Pray to the Holy Spirit for wisdom today to live your vocation well. For Your Marriage is here to support you! Marriage Unique for a Reason. USCCB assumes no responsibility for these websites, their content, or their sponsoring organizations.
The Marital Sexual Relationship. The Situation Bob and Mary have been married nine years and have two small children, ages eight and six. A Response Marriage is a call to on-going intimacy — not only sexual but also the intentional develop of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy.
Marriage Rx Keep your marriage happy and healthy. Marriage Welcomes Life How have your children blessed your marriage? View Previous Marriage Tips.
Planning a Catholic Wedding. Obstacles to a Healthy Marriage Lifelong marriage is still the ideal.