I am back in Afghanistan for the fifth time in two years. I have a lot in common
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Like many of them, I have been here before and I have been under fire. And, dubious though the honour is, I am a member of an even more exclusive club: I have been shot during a gunfight. There are differences between us, too.
I am a photojournalist, not a soldier. I carry cameras and a notebook, not a gun. In the heat of battle, I am trying to stay alive, not trying to kill. The biggest difference - the one that surprises all the soldiers I meet - is that more than volunteering to be here, I overcome many obstacles to be an observer in this
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I have worked extensively in Afghanistan sincespending a total of six months here. I was one of the first journalists to spend time with British soldiers from 16 Air Assault when they deployed to Helmand. This was in Aprilwhen much of the British
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The defence secretary had said he hoped "the mission could be completed without firing a shot", which seemed unlikely at best, and disingenuous at worst.
The Canadian deployment in Kandahar started in the spring of and I spent almost a month with a reconnaissance unit from the 1st Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry.
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I travelled all over the province with these guys, and while they got into gunfights, raided compounds and captured Taliban fighters, they explained that back home the public were being told their mission was about "peacekeeping". When I photographed a raid in which Taliban fighters were captured, it made front pages across Canada and sent shockwaves through the country.
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I was denounced as a liar and accused of misrepresenting the events. I gave several television interviews countering claims by some members of the Canadian media that the prisoners had been mistreated. Despite the fact the Canadian military initially tried to prevent me from releasing the photographs, citing the Geneva conventions, I did release them into the public
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In the autumn ofI returned to Afghanistan and spent more time with the Canadian soldiers in Kandahar. I was stunned by the changes in their attitudes. Whereas the soldiers I had met earlier in the year were fresh-faced and inexperienced, these guys were blooded and talked like old hands.
As a journalist I ask a lot of questions, but the one I have always felt inappropriate is the one that so many combat veterans tell me they are asked all the time: When they weren't telling me, they were talking to each other, going over and over the fights they had been in, the actions they had taken and the people they had killed.
It was like witnessing battlefield group therapy. I wasn't able to reach British troops this time, so I travelled east to "Afghan military hook up" with
Afghan military hook up forces. This was the first time I had spent any time with American soldiers, and to my discredit I approached them with some trepidation.
The trigger-happy cowboy stereotype had coloured my expectations, and it was much to my relief that I found the US soldiers to be just as regular and decent as I hope I am myself.
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I was struck by their sheer determination and professionalism. I will admit I was hooked on the story in Afghanistan. Not the danger or adrenaline, as many suppose, but the story itself.
I could see that the reality on the ground was very different to
Afghan military hook up story being told back in the west. My photographs weren't getting published much, and the agency I worked for was not interested in sending me back there, but I had no stomach now for day-to-day press work in London. I wanted to be back in Afghanistan, reporting what I believed - and still believe - to be a hugely important story.
I resigned from my safe and secure employment as a staff photographer and returned to the world of freelancing. The Americans had already agreed to allow me to embed as a freelancer, which is quite unusual. More importantly, they had agreed to my request for a "fighting "Afghan military hook up" embed. In Afghanistan, due to the mountainous terrain and harsh climate, fighting traditionally starts with the melting of the snow and the opening of the mountain passes in April.
It continues until the snow returns somewhere between early November and mid-December. Five weeks after I started the embed, the unit I was with was caught in an ambush. Eighteen Afghan soldiers were killed, four more were wounded, and seven US soldiers were hurt. In the closing stages of the firefight, I was shot. I have written before about the events of that dayMay 14 The months that followed were filled with fear, pain and sometimes anger.
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Because of my injuries, I had a colostomy, and I underwent further surgery to reverse that. I struggled to regain weight and my strength. In September, I discarded my walking stick and soon started an intensive exercise regime. My goal was to get back to Afghanistan as soon as possible. In November, I returned. Going back there was tough - much tougher than before. I had said from the moment I woke up in intensive care in Afghanistan that I would return. Raised in a farming community in Ireland, I was taught that if you're thrown off a horse then you get straight back on.
I wanted to get back into the fight, to see if I could still do it. What I didn't understand initially was that the tough part was going to be dealing with the
Afghan military hook up. Previously, when my girlfriend, family, or friends voiced their concerns about my safety, I would throw out
Afghan military hook up reassuring and often flippant comment.
When the bullets start flying I will be hiding behind the biggest rock I can find," or something like that. That facade was gone. I had always known the risks, but now everyone else did too. I had to accept that my choices were affecting my loved ones. But I still chose to go back, which is where the guilt comes from. During my last trip, I filmed a lot. This was something I had been trying to teach myself over the previous couple of years. To help my family and friends understand what I was experiencing, and to avoid telling the same stories repeatedly at home, I had started writing a blog during a previous trip.
The blog took on a life of its own and I enjoyed putting into words events that couldn't be captured in photographs. Video gave me another tool to tell the story, and audio slideshows allowed me to meld photographs and audio. The one thing I wasn't doing was getting the story, in whatever form, out to a mass audience. There were a few thousand people following my blog and asking to see the photos.
Now I have been commissioned by the Guardian to travel back to Afghanistan for another fighting season to make films, photograph, write — and report the story.
Middle East and North Africa. An anonymous Tinder user in Afghanistan tells us "In a land littered with the Technically, Tinder exists wherever a smartphone can pick up a In The Military ? They don't have one single combat veteran in the PLA now. He quit his job to continue covering the Afghanistan conflict, got shot during an ambush Despite the fact the Canadian military initially tried to prevent me from I didn't ask these Canadians, but they constantly brought it up.
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