A really big dreamer. I was the first person in my family to graduate from college.
A private college, magna cum laude, while raising four children alone. I worked hard and brought our family out of poverty singlehandedly. We moved to a better neighborhood, built a nice house, and went on vacations. I was no ordinary woman. The man I sought had to be equally well-educated, ambitious, successful, attractive, and generous.
I also would have preferred that he not want any children and Settling for someone be happy to help me raise mine since I had so many.
Finally, he had to be well-read, close to my own age, and not addicted to television. I froze out the older men who would have been happy to date me. I Settling for someone those four kids alone while reading every self-help book I could find and begging "Settling for someone" deity I could think of to send me a mate. Being open to dating outside your type is not settling. Instead, you buy or rent a place within your means and go on about your business. This is a perfectly reasonable thing to do and most of us are fine with the concept until we consider dating.
Consider what traits add value to a relationship. When you meet someone you really like, that person most likely will need to give up a few items on his or her wish list in order to be with you. He may have wanted someone who loved college football, she may have preferred someone taller.
There may be unanticipated in political opinions, food preferences, or hobbies. No matter what desired traits are being given up, your intended will hopefully choose to be with you, a real person, instead of holding out for someone who possesses qualities on a list.
Ideally, he or she will realize that the person their list describes may not exist, but you do. You are here with them now and offering them a chance at love. They can make the most of this chance now, or refuse to settle and relinquish the opportunity to be with you. You let them get away with their subpar treatment of you because of the chemistry you feel, their success, or physical appeal. Did you dump that nice guy who was only an inch taller than you for the six foot tall MBA who never had time for you?
What about blowing off the sweet but slightly insecure girl for the more mysterious, harder to get woman who ended up cheating on you? I myself finally learned the value of prioritization, and after more than a decade alone found myself with a wonderful man. I feel safe with him, and he lets me know how loved I am every single Settling for someone. Surface traits are very enticing, but they do not offer much in the way of long-term relationship potential. If what you really want is a fulfilling relationship, open your heart and prioritize love today.
Couple in love image via Shutterstock. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice.
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Who Runs Tiny Buddha? Design by Joshua Denney. There are so many different reasons people settle
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Nikki Martinez tells Bustle. "If you find yourself not actively building your.