In a tech-dependent dating culture, where it takes but a swipe to reject someone, single fat women can see the venture of finding love online as incredibly difficult. When couples therapist and fellow plus-size woman Krista Niles discovered a key piece of research on male online daters, she spent a year gaming the algorithm of a popular dating app to ensure fat babes were only matched with fat-preferring or indifferent partners. A Chapman University study of 28, heterosexual participants examined their weight preferences for potential partners.
For Niles, this information was a game changer. For plus-size women in particular, putting ourselves out there has always involved some preparation around rejection, fetishization, or straight-up harassment. Niles recognizes the fear and apprehension that Fat phobia online dating keep women of size from taking the plunge into online dating.
When being sexy or sexual, they are subjected to the highest levels of fatphobia. Niles herself used various dating sites off and on for nine years before finding her partner.
Like many before her, she ran into the classic pitfalls of online dating while fat, such as choosing non-representative profile photos that hid her size.
The most common strategy to ensure a thorough match is to answer as many questions as possible.
However, Niles disagrees with this plan of attack for plus-size women. She suggests prioritizing the questions about body size and shape above all others. When you do that, you are only going to match with people who are cool with dating a fat girl.
You're not going to match with people who have marked that as an absolute no or even a
Fat phobia online dating no. We are simply revealing it.
Matching with people who are not open-minded about bodies that exist outside rigid beauty standards is simply a waste of time. Prioritizing questions about appearance also may seem like it comes at the expense of not addressing other important factors like religion and politics.
Niles cautions clients to answer the questions that resonate most with them while keeping in mind their Every single guy in the area is going to answer the same way. Of course, there is more to online dating than just personality matching.
The fine art of presenting oneself online takes practice and guidance, which is another facet to The Curvy Cupid Course. Through video lessons and interactions with Niles and other clients in a private Facebook group, Curvy Cupid students learn strategies on profile building, photo selection, organization, and other challenges like dealing with burnout and rejection — the unsavory yet often inevitable parts of online dating.
While Niles does dedicate a small portion of her course to building confidence, she felt that area was best left to another plus-size guru, author and fat activist Virgie Tovar. Niles sees an overhaul on how plus-size women view themselves as essential to the dating process.
A plus-size dating coach says attraction is less about weight than we think Krista Niles discovered some key research. Mar 2, Ideas Identity SexandDating Life.