Big community funding update! How does a couple pick up another woman? June 3, 1: Where do we even begin? My girlfriend and I have a wonderfully healthy and relationship. We also openly recognize that we both have fluid sexual orientations i.
We are both comfortable with the idea, have talked about boundaries and comfort levels, etc we have also discussed having a threesome with another man, but have decided to start with a second woman.
Is this actually true? How do we find someone interested? I always feel that, no matter how genuine I am, I will simply look like a douchebag. So what do we do? Do I let my girlfriend do the talking?
Does anyone have any experience with this? I really think this is as easy as socializing together and cultivating a healthy air of receptivity. And yes, you CAN just bring Best way to find a woman for a couple up with someone at a bar.
If you've had a pleasant evening and have been chatting with someone and you and your wife have exchanged "the signal", there's really nothing wrong with saying, "How would you like to continue this conversation at our place? What's the worst that can happen? I think the results you're going to find online will probably be every bit as disappointing as you'd imagine.
I can tell you that most of the people looking for threesomes online are couples. You do the math. I think the virtue of things like Craigslist and AdultFriendFinder is that those sites as well as real-world communities centered on swinging allow you to just get it right out there, the fact that you're looking for a woman for a threesome. In the face-to-face world, it is virtually impossible to come up with a way to broach this so that you don't look like sleazy pervs.
If you meet someone and let it evolve organically starting with a friendship in which she really likes you and your girlfriend what if she's massively disgusted with your proposal? You invested time in cultivating her as a friend, and then you ended up looking like a manipulative jerk who only befriended her to groom a potential threesome partner.
I think that, even in the most enlightened, forward-thinking parts of the country, most people will find your proposal off-putting and will think you're a creep if you propose it to them in a face-to-face setting. I have absolutely no experience in this realm, nor any interest, by the way.
How do you or how have you, in the past hook up with someone for casual one-on-one sex? How does your girlfriend or how has she, in the past hook up with someone for casual Best way to find a woman for a couple sex? You do more-or-less what works for you in that context, just doing it together and it's best if she takes the lead in approaching potential partners, because that lowers the potential squick factor a lot.
And you expect a lower rate of success, because you need to find someone who a is into the idea, b finds your GF attractive, c finds you attractive, and who a your GF finds attractive, and b you find attractive.
That's a lot of variables, so the odds of making a connection are lower. No need to make this caveat, it shows in your answer. Generally, in MOST places, respectful propositions from someone with whom you've established a friendly rapport are not going to transform them into a "sleazy perv" right before your eyes. If someone's not interested, they're often still rather flattered or amused. What's more likely than being regarded with disgust is being regarded with fascination -- people who turn you down will often be very curious about your relationship and want to know more about how you ended up this way together.
I have to respectfully disagree with hermitosis Depending on the person, their background, etc. But hopefully since you are talking about cultivating friendships first you would get a feel for that long before propositioning her But yes, the prudish, Puritan views of relations does still exist, even in Oregon. Then again there are the more risque-minded people who WOULD ask more questions even if uninterested.
That said, AFF, Craigslist, etc.
At least then you're being very upfront with what it is you're looking to get out of the relationship. But given what you've said, I'd suggest the club route first.
Dan Savage always says to avoid hooking up with friends and instead hire an escort. I'm pretty sure there are escorts who specialize in this sort of thing, and that it would be fun. I know that I and most people I know would a not be interested, and b probably be too uncomfortable, from that point on, to remain friends with the proposer.
Forget the club route. Your local alternative rag Willamette Week and their ilk likely has classified ads that deal with this. You can be as selective as you want, and take as much time to vet as you want. Just be prepared to say, Best way to find a woman for a couple hear, "no" in a graceful way if, upon meeting, the vibe is not there for you or the other woman.
I feel like almost every time I go to a burlesque club, no matter how conservatively dressed I am or how little I'm feeling it, a couple propositions me for a threesome.
So, uh, try a burlesque club? At least you know upfront that a female customer's idea of a fun time can involve watching naked girls, and she's probably more sex-positive than average to boot. For the record, I'm bi -- and apparently someone's picking up on that wavelength -- but threesomes and random hookups aren't my idea of fun. Also, if you let the girl approach while the guy goes to get everyone drinks or something, it's less creepy.
The girl, like me, may still decline politely -- but she's less likely to be skeeved out. Think of it this way, if you've got the stones to do a threesome, you ought to have Best way to find a woman for a couple stones to get rejected quite a bit.
Get out there in a bar, start introducing yourself and your girlfriend, buy some people some drinks, and see what happens. Maybe people are kinkier than I think they are. Get out there in a bar, start introducing yourself and your girlfriend Have the girlfriend do the introductions.
Seriously, this makes all the difference in the world. If the girlfriend approaches, you potential 3rd don't feel like she's just going along with it grudgingly. Basically, any unescorted women in any setting "Best way to find a woman for a couple" women are disrobing burlesque show, strip club or scantily dressed nightclub is automatically assumed to be interested in a threesome.
So that might be the easiest place to start; worst case scenario, you'll blend into the static. Louis Theroux episode on swingers posted by acro at 2: Asking someone face to face might be easier in a vacation destination. I find people to be more to this sort of thing when they don't have to go home and clean or go to work the next day, like its a vacation from their normal sex too. So maybe take a nice tropical vacation this summer? Only to people who are so opposed to threesomes that they're incredibly narrow-minded about the sexual exploits of others.
Yes, you'll probably hit on a quite a few women who ultimately aren't interested, but I doubt you'll deeply offend them by essentially admitting that both you and your girlfriend are into them. The novelty of the request and the additional presence of your girlfriend usually mitigates lots of the sleaze inherent in just a dude asking a lady to go home with him. Maybe I've been in enlightened, forward-thinking New York for too long, but most of the resolutely monogamous women I know here would be flattered at the very least by such a proposition, if also a bit flabbergasted.
I'd suggest having your girlfriend approach these women and strike up conversations with them first, and then you can join if they seem to have decent chemistry. Then both of you can subtly flirt with the lady in question while also making no secret about your status as a couple. Honestly, I've been propositioned before and this is the point when it's possible to guess the couple's intentions before they hash out their proposition. Do this at a bar, but not one you frequent all the time.
Do this after two drinks, but not six. The burlesque club suggestion is fantastic idea. Your girlfriend should be the one doing the talking.
If you take the lead in 'hitting on' women for the both of you, the probability is very high that you'll be dismissed as skeezy "Oh yeah, my girlfriend's totally into it too, trust me". Initiate your face to face interactions at clubs or sex-positive events. Steer the conversation in risque directions to gauge the comfort level of your new friend--if she plays along, she may continue playing And again, let your girlfriend lead.